2011 encapsulated in a list

The year 2011 is to be wrapped up in only two days.  I have taken the cue of every publication ever and created a list of things to insufficiently highlight how my 2011 went.

1. I finally got around to watching Kick-Ass, which contains, as far as I am concerned, Nic Cage's best performance ever.

2. I did so much dogsitting, so much.

None of the dogs looked anything like this.

3. I learned that by getting my boyfriend the toilsome game Dark Souls for his birthday, I have caused unimaginable torment and a grotesque sort of frustration that may follow him into the next two years.

I think this is a special edition cover.

4. I cried over a woman's stupefying decision to give me a mullet haircut against all request and cut it all off in a desperate bid to look like less of a motorbike kid's trashy girlfriend.

It looked like this, but more turd colored.
courtesy: http://kathy.thetorrences.com/

5. Watched the Walking Dead, hated it.  Way to take a great comic and turn it into a cheesy, somehow critically acclaimed show, AMC.  I disliked the writing, but the gore effects crew did a superb job.  Maybe that is why people love it so?

This is just Glenn Danzig looking for baby carrots at a farmer's market.

And those are the five things I did, experienced, or learned this year.  2012 should be so productive.

flood flood flood

As most already know, a giant, dirty flood has thoroughly hydrated most of Thailand.  It was reported in the news and on twitter that this mess was going to leave all but the glittery city of Bangkok in watery ruins.  Artists who were interviewed regarding the disaster mostly held the view that if a flood were to hit Bangkok, they would only have a 50% chance of survival (no joke).  Of course, what was reported turned out to be completely wrong and the putrefied waters have been inching toward the inner city, for all of three weeks now.

The events of the past few weeks have left residents of Bangkok in a frenzy of food, water, and toilet paper hoarding.

I succumbed to this frenzy and purchased a stock of non-perishable items, emergency snacks and water in preparation for what seems to be the end of the world according to twitter.

However, since buying these emergency supplies, I have not been able to resist eating the delicious rice crackers and three minute instaboil noodles that are supposed to keep me alive should the flood wreck my ability to walk two minutes to buy a bag of food.  Oops.

This evidence of my gluttony was captured weeks ago, and the situation remains the same.

flashback to a better snacktime

This radioactive shade of orange is the delightful dust encasing the best snack in all of Malaysia.  I want to eat a bag of these delicious rings of regret right now, but they just aren't available in Bangkok.  Sadface.

no time!

I don't have any of that fancy time stuff right now, but I don't want to be too neglectful of my vanity projects, so here is one and one quarter of a photo negative.  I have a scanner date soon; I will scan the world and everything in it when I have me some of that precious, precious time.

the eye poke

I really need to get organized.  I like having things together where they need to be, looking fly in their coordinated, categorized sections.  Frequently though, my things end up sprawled around while I run around trying to get things done.  When my things are like that for too long, I feel like this is happening:

mangled film

Almost a year ago, I took some photos on a disposie and when I took the film to be developed, the shop almost ruined the whole strip of pictures.  Some photos were saved and they turned out awesome.  I just scanned the negatives and saw the melty warbled mess tonight; here is a selection:

bunnies and a butt

Salacious!!!

I feel like the more amount of time one spends on tumblr, the more likely it is that something resembling this little doodle of mine will turn up:

Variations will include thinner legs, different animals, different underpants and a change of socks. 

Bangkok Burger Blog Hamburger Bonanza

I won a burger from a very favorable, 20 percent chance of celebrating entry with a juicy, juicy burger, random-draw giveaway from the Bangkok Burger Blog about a week ago. 

The burger was to be consumed at Home Run Bar and Grill, and I went with a fancy date (really, it was my regular boyfriend after a bath and decorated in fancy clothes, so it just seemed fancier than usual).

So, getting down to details: I got the "Californian" burger, something which, due to its namesake, I thought would come out toasted brown and enhanced with filler.  No, this shiz was juicy and meaty and tasty and awesome.  Proof:

The thing came out on a platter big enough to house a suitable cold cuts arrangement for teamsters on break.

Aaron got the chili cheese dog, it was yummy.

He said it was his first time with a chili cheese dog, but his technique was so efficient: it was gone in 3 minutes.

I also ordered a bloody mary.  It was one of the better ones I have had in Bangkok.  Usually, when ordered anywhere in this city, they are watery and disgusting.  This one tasted like a hearty stew.  I wanted to add cheese to it, it was that good.

I whittled the burger down to a good size, but I couldn't finish it off.  Here are a few more photos of winning in action:

I burgled it up for free!

Tasty avocado and succulent meat!

At this point, I felt like dying.

The food was super good.  The burger and chili cheese dog were great and the quantity of edible items on each plate was heart stopping (over time, of course).

  

Thank you, BK Burger Blog and Home Run Bar and Grill for giving away delicious free things!

water conservation is no laughing matter

So wasteful.

monica canilao and a bird

The artist Monica Canilao with a bird on her shoulder.  I like her style.  This doodle was eaten by Henry, all that remains is this:

panda earthquake and a fox smelling a flower

I'm currently watching a show called "Weather Rampage" and a very nerve-wracking thing is being televised: an earthquake and avalanche at a panda reserve.  An emergency panda evacuation is tragic, but also pretty cute.

Speaking of cute, I found a photograph of a fox enjoying the scent of sweet nectar and turned it into something less cute than the original photo, but still pretty adorable.

henry frenzy

This morning, Mr. Henry the Labrador decided to snack on my notebook.  The pages he gnawed out and successfully consumed were thankfully blank.  The rest of the doodles were salvageable, albeit drool stained and wrinkled.

The book is heavy on doodles of Henry.  Here are a few doodles of him that he tried to eat:

bursting with love

king of naps

attack ready

Henry looks a bit like the retarded dog from down the street in this one.

a love of money in a bangkok elevator

A few weeks ago I met with my boyfriend at a movie theater to see that excellent movie about mutants, the one inspired by that one comic book franchise whose dizzyingly complicated story arcs make it only slightly less popular than General Hospital.

This doodle was in turn inspired by what would have progressed between this gropetastic duo had the elevator at the Paragon Cineplex not filled with people.

jubjub is Thai for kisskiss.

dogsitting a friendly yellow lab

I was recently granted the privilege to watch the cutest, mopiest and best of all, yellowest yellow labrador in Bangkok.  

This was the first of many Henry doodles in my book of puppy portraits.

this yellow lab is good at moping.

love bombs and bangkok traffic

Living in Bangkok gives certain things the flavor of death.  Coming home from work every day makes me feel like I have dipped myself in a hot and sticky soup of disgruntlement.  Cars and motorbikes whiz past and blow their warm exhaust on my skin, making me feel like I am constantly being farted on.  On the trek home, it is not unusual for me to feel like I could have goosed death because it was so close.

Yum, commuting!

Onto these love bombs; they look cute but their aim is to slice and disembowel before blowing any survivors into smithereens.

two birds in primary colors

I like tiny birds.

The one with the red crest I like to think is named Percival.  His parents are successful bird physicians but he likes to pretend he is poor and forgoes bathing in exchange for bragging rights.

The yellow one has just received his G.E.D. and knows acutely how close he's come to killing in the name of love.

BaioWolf in Love Manor

I made this last year for BaioWolf when I was cooped up, bored, and going out of my goddamn mind during Bangkok's Red Shirt rallies and subsequent shopping mall, bank, and tire pile fires.

Rob and Sean among some pink flowers.

dream town

I want to live in this place where lightweight whales blow spit bubbles into the air and children wash their socks in the same creek the townsfolk drink from.

I would be in the house on the corner, the one with the really bad water damage.

fortune town's fortunate find

The bounty of discovery within Bangkok's Fortune Town brings you:

The offering near the Double Lucky motherboard repair shop.

Midsummer Serenade Restaurant and Wine Bar Pre Solstice Solstice Party

That fancy flier I posted for that fancy food solstice event has been made obsolete by a scheduling change.  I wanted to make a premature solstice party poster featuring two disappointed planets in a bed together or even a baby planet in an astronomical incubator, but those ideas were shot down like a creepy guy at 3 am.

Here is the newest flier for Serenade Restaurant and Wine Bar's updated shindig:

Serenade Restaurant and Wine Bar welcomes you to eat pancakes and ham.

jelly donut girl and shitty bangs

Jelly Donut Girl is back and today's adventure finds her hanging out with Shitty Bangs.

Jelly Donut Girl and Shitty Bangs hit it off.

shitty bangs

A shitty drawing of a shitty lady with shitty bangs.

how to talk to boys: be aggressive and don't be the first to break eye contact.

serenade summer solstice party time

Do you like the sun?  Do you like it when the sun makes your days stretch longer so that you can enjoy way more ice cream sandwiches in the stifling heat, mostly so you can pretend that it's just the weather and not your eating disorder driving you to consume so much frozen dairy?  I do.  And so did the Pagans.  That is why the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, was so loved and celebrated by the pre-christian tribes of Europe.

Serenade Restaurant & Wine Bar will be hosting a jazzy (there may not actually be any jazz) summer solstice event on June 21 where there will be projections of Carl Sagan's Cosmos and food and beverages and fun.

 

underwater drama

  SHOCKING.

sleepaway camp

I want everyone I  know to dress like they are at summer camp.  This kind of summer camp:

That's right, slutty summer camp where murders also tend to happen.

movin' on up

I'm moving into a hot new sexy apartment tomorrow.  During packing, I discovered a plethora of things I forgot, or even ever knew existed. 

Luckily, I did not come across this guy in my discovery of various items.

I'd have poo'd myself.

hero in a half shell

giant and tiny hamburgers in bangkok

The updates posted here do not mirror what happens in my life in any chronological manner.

Some time ago, I went on a hamburger date and consumed part of a hamburger made with 1 kilo of meat, 1 kilo of bread, and maybe half a kilo of other toppings.  I also ate half of a burger so little it nestled in the palm of my hand like an infant rodent waiting to be consumed by some hungry feline.

While waiting for and then immediately after consuming these meaty treats, some anticipatory and conclusive drawings were made.

Yummy!

bobbleheaded elly of la roux

When I was a child, I would stand in front of fans and make strings of sounds in diphthong gibberish until stricken with headaches from lack of oxygen. 

I made this doodle back when I was listening to La Roux a whole lot.